felt so emo and empty tonight after tutiton. cuz i miss him so much until i dunno how to express anymore. seeing others walking together hand in hand make me so envious of dem. tonight de wind is strong de nite is cold and silent. i juz miss him alot. wonderin how in de world can i pass it. everynite without fail. ever since he broke up wif me. i dreamt of him de moment my eyes close until i wake up in de morning. haiz. on such a lonely nite i juz wan him back so badly. especially adding on tt i am so damn sick. haiz.. well nowadays i owayz got the sudden urge of getting married. mayb bcuz ppl ard me are getting married after dating like 4 to 5 yrs. but i guess most probably is bcuz i wanna show him tt i reali love him tt much tt i am willing to marry him. haiz...

好想他...真的好想好想他..

i'm sick since ytd. having flu, fever and sore throat.so much medicine to take. all i wan was a simple hug. tt was all i ask for. 我真的好想好想他...

well. nthing to sae tonite as i'm feeling empty cuz of him again. but so? nvm den. oh and i pass my diploma. =) is he missing me? i hope so. will he tink of me? i hope so. is he still loving me? i hope so. so much wishes for dis year. yet the only one that i hope will reali happen is that he gets on well and take good care of himself. i onli wanna see him smile. even if that smile sarcrifice my own happiness. 好想他...

很想知道他到底过的好不好... 真的很想他...但对他而言...我的思恋不会再引起任何反应... i'm afraid to let him noe i realli miss him that much... bcuz everytime he noes... he will not haf any reaction to it at all.. i cried during the last weekend... wen i first step into his room.. i cried. becuz my heart hurts alot.. seeing everything in a mess juz after i clean up a week ago.. and oso now that there seems to be barrier between us that we cannot tok to each other be honest to each other anymore. bcuz he feel he had no obligation to tell me anything... his behaviour makes me veri afraid to sae anything at all to him even though i reali reali wanna let him know how much i miss him and how sad i am to see things turn out dis way.

你知不知到我从第一次看见你就以经很喜欢你了...frm the first time i set my eyes on you. i fell in love with you forever. but i did not expect things to turn out like that bcuz i believe that you will owayz hold on to me juz like i know i will definitely hold on to you no matter wat happen.

好想他...

now's my lunch time. and i'm like so damn bored and tire. din slp well last nite.. was tire but couldnt slp and de moment my eyes close i dreamt of him again. dead tire. waiting for the day to end so that i can relax. seems like i can only slp well wen i'm with him. i'm now waiting for that carrie ger to be back frm harbourfront lar.haha cuz she's meeting me later for some mission. lol right now i'm alone with all the indian guys in my office lo. haha my pretty colleagues wen over to harbourfront and now i'm wondering why didnt i tag along. haha. i tink i'm gonna haf broken arms soon. haha bcuz both my shoulder hurts lke hell and today my bag is damn heavy. more den a kg. haha i saw some veri pretty white lily the other day. is one of my favourites. and it reminded me of that bouquet that he gave me. haiz... my bday and oso v.day is approaching fast. and i'm sad to tink bout it. every yr i wish feb would come quickly and dun go away so fast yet dis yr.. i dread it. bcuz he is not ard anymore. usually i love feb bcuz tt is de month where he will spend lots and lots of time wif me. haiz. but now tings are different.

miss him lots.

well.. i woke up at 6.30am today. and now i'm blogging... the timing reminded me of the time wen i have to be in sch by now 2yrs back. and it oso reminded me of an even earlier time wen i will be early in school just so that i can spend some precious moment with him which i apreciate it so much even until now. the memories are like baby to me that i look after it so carefully. well ya it hurts to tink that some things are diff now. but well... time pass things change people change too. how i wish i can go back sch instead of work. guess that is part of growing up ba...time reali flies.. the precious childhood memories..the fun and laughter during my secondary sch years... the kind of protection that i felt wenever he is ard.. will i ever feel it again? even in my dreams everyday, i dreamt of him. does that goes to show i reali miss him that badly that i dream of him everyday? in my subconscienceness, i see him. someone told me before that our soul leaves our body wenever we are sleeping. and watever we are dreaming is actually wat our soul is seeing at the moment.. on the scary part... does that mean i miss him so much so that my soul actually visit him every nite? well. i guess if that is reali real he will freak out first. hahaha.

miss him

it had been few days since i blog. have been damn busy and worried at the same time. my work is never ending each day. kena target for no reason sometimes lots and lots of responsibilities. haiz. tire at the end of the day. totally no energy. worried bcuz he is sick. and yet i cant go over. not that i cant go over. more like he ask me to dun need go. so i dun dare to go even though i reali wish i can be by his side. haiz. still missing him everyday. and so so many weeks have pass i realize that my love for him is only getting stronger each day. tink i kinda believe that its true wen u reali love a person, no matter how badly he treats you or how much he doesnt wanna be wif you, u will juz bear with the loneliness and the pain that he gave you. even juz a halo or an eye contact can make me smile for the whole day. well... sometimes i feel he is the one. my destiny. but i can only wait and wait. been feeling lousy everyday due to work. but cant do much bout it can only treat it as listening to some music that doesnt suit my taste.

still missing him& loving him lots...=( i hope he reali recover fully. reali worried wen he haf fever each time.

can our love reali endure all dis? juz a simple question out of curiosity u oso got no patience to answer me. i oso din wanna anger u on purpose. how would i noe that ur so reluctant to answer. i reali dunno ma. is ppl tell me den i curious ma. ask ask onli oso cannot.

both of us are hurt. i noe your hurt by my words that is why u went back to smoking and oso broke up wif me. no matter how much time u need to heal i will wait for you.

i reali love you. if one day ur wound are heal. i will be dere for you. bcuz i have never left. i noe is my fault. so i am willing to wait. i reali hope u will gif me another chance. bcuz i reali love you. smoking is bad for health. not bcuz i dun like people who smoke is bcuz i dun wan u to ruin ur health. my parents have seen u smoke. tt's why daddy dun like you. and my mummy dun reali allow. but i believe if you reali love a person, u will juz forget about smoking. juz like wen i first noe u used to smoke and u reali assure me that ur not smoking anymore. i believe u can do it. my dear. i will owayz be waiting for that day to come. wen u stop smoking and wen ur wound is heal. dun tok bout my hurt anymore. bcuz i believe i haf hurt u more over such a long time den u haf hurt me. i noe ur addicted to smoking. but i owayz believe is ur determination to quit. maybe wen u see dis u might tink is u who juz wanna smoke not bcuz ur hurt or wat. den i gt nthing to sae. i can onli sae i wil wait. wait for you to come back. bcuz i onli love you. if not i will never be attach again. bcuz ur de onli one i wanna be wif.

i reali reali love you. do u miss me at all? bcuz i miss you.